Ellie's Underwear

Okay, Ellie is not her real name, but she was something of a celebrity. I'm giving her a pseudonym for some reasons that will become obvious, and some for which there is no need to divulge. The bottom line, however, is that the story doesn't absolutely require you to know. Also, this was a long time ago.

So. What with one thing an another, and all of it being entirely and totally innocuous, I was in possession of some of Ellie's underwear and I needed to return it. Oh, all right, I'll mention that there had been a gathering of quite a few people, the gathering included a hot tub, and there was also a dryer that didn't work fast enough and she had to be somewhere before said dryer had finished with her underwear. You don't need to know any more, and, really, there's not that much else to know. Entirely and totally innocuous, remember?

Because of Ellie's celebrity status, she was sometimes asked to address groups of people, and it so happened that the most convenient time to see her next was at one such gathering. So I attended her talk, which was enjoyable in and of itself, and afterwards, I waited until the cluster of people around her dwindled down. In fact, there came a time when she was talking to a single fellow about something, I don't remember what, and that doesn't really matter either.

I seized upon the opportunity, walked up to her, and handed her a small paper sack. She smiled, nodded her thanks, and continued listening to whatever the guy was saying. However, the little transaction had distracted him.

"What's in the sack?" he asked, keeping his attention on her (the celebrity), but giving me just a little flickering glance.

"My underwear," she said, with a slight grin that I recall as simultaneously totally innocent, and (as you may imagine), just a little mischievous.

He blinked, and looked at me for a longer moment, and much more closely. I don't know how long it lasted, but for a while, he thought that I was a much cooler person than I really am, privy to secrets that he could only envy and never fully imagine.